Rest
(Originally written October 27, 2021)
Life at YWAM sounds great, and in truth, it really is. In fact I am living my best life now. There is something about being in a community of mutual honor for one another, and people wildly pursuing God. When I did my DTS in 2016, I thrived in this same context. But this time there is something different.
It's not that YWAM Kona is less ideal then where I did my DTS. It's not that people here are poop-heads, or that the leadership here stinks. It's none of that. What's different this time around is that I have a wife and a kid (who, on any given day, may or may not be a poop-head :P ).
But let's be real, raising a family is difficult in it's own right. But raising a family while doing a DTS or in the mission field? That's tough work. Sure, it is very rewarding, but at the same time it is extremely challenging. I would be lying if I said I didn't have my doubts about being able to make it as a long-term missionary family. What I do know though, is that God calls us beyond what we can do in the natural. I call it God's insurance policy. If He didn't call us beyond our flesh, then what would be the point of us dying to ourselves? If our lives were sufficient enough, then why would the Lord of Lords send the Spirit to help us? After all, Paul touches on this divine mystery when he writes: "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me"(Galatians 2:20). Ultimately, that's the secret: Become 100% helpless and 100% dependent on God.
Even with knowledge, we can tell ourselves over and over again to become helpless and depend on God, but how? For me, in this season, it's me realizing that not moving is not the same and being still. Just because I have some down time and I am "chilling out" doesn't mean that my Soul is really finding rest. Sure, my body might resting, as being here in Kona is physically and emotionally exhausting, but is my Soul finding rest? This is something entirely different.
In order for my family to change, and for us to make it long-term, we each need to plug into the source: We need to be with Jesus daily. We know versus like "if anyone lacks wisdom, let them ask God" (James 1:5) and "be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10), these are great, but right now I am finding great comfort in Matthew 11:28-30;
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
What a verse.
Not only is there a promise of rest for our souls, but listen to what Jesus says about taking on His yoke: Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me." - when we do work God's way, we learn profound mysteries. For me that means learning how to be a better husband, a better father, and a better son... It means looking at my past failures and allowing myself to fail forward. I can glean wisdom from my past mistake, but not rest. It is only when I exchange my yoke for His that I can find rest for my soul. And from that place, a place of truly resting, I can learn from the One who is more committed to my highest calling than I will ever be.
Remaining tender to His voice is one of the greatest weapons to use against our biggest of problems.
So please, I urge you, remember to rest. Your family and your friends will thank you. Your burden will become light and your knowledge will increase because you have been with the One true God. And you too will become gentle, your presence will be peaceful, and kindness will be your first response to whatever trial you face. But if you continue to labor in your own yoke, the outcome will be stress, anxiety, depression even. Let your soul rest in the beautiful exchange of your heavy yoke for His.
