Joy in Sickness

I enjoy being sick. Yep, you read that right — I actually like it. No, I’m not a masochist. But there are things I cherish about being sick. Rendered weak and helpless, I am forced to slow down and ask for help. There’s a groundedness that comes with being slow and taking care of myself, or rather, needing and allowing others to take care of me. 

I find I am more present, quieter, more reflective. I shy away from screens and dig into books and people. I read my Biblemore and am drawn into beautiful and previous moments of worship that wouldn’t have otherwise happened. The chatter in my head stops, my to-do list is put on pause and I’m as fully there in every moment as I possibly can be in my weakened state. Being sick is peaceful.

Don’t get me wrong, things can be chaotic when I’m sick - my kid watches too much TV and gets an attitude, my husband and I end up being bored and it all feels like a challenge. Yet amidst the chaos there is peace. Peace isn’t the absence of storms, but the calmness of heart and spirit no matter the storm.

Each time I’m sick, I pray for healing but I soon change my focus to one of thankfulness and wonder. Being a person who is prone to striving and productivity, I expect that God allows me to be sick because sometimes I need a glaringly obvious reminder to rest. When I’m left with no possibility of doing, I’m blissfully ushered into submission to the invitation to be still and know that He is God.

The worse I feel physically, honestly the more excited I become. I laugh at my frailty, embrace my weakness and become a more willing vessel of His. As I am emptied totally of myself, I can be filled to overflowing by Him.