Was it worth it?
Recently I had dinner with a friend to catch up on life, our travels, and just to hang out. At some point I was asked a poignant question about the last six months of my life: “Was it worth it?”
At the time of answering, I fumbled a bit.
Was it worth selling my home, my car, my possessions, leaving where I grew up, leaving my job, moving my family across the country, learning to live with less, and being constantly challenged and sharpened by cultures and peoples? I was overwhelmed by this simple question and when looking back I wish I would have answered it differently.
In answering the question I am reminded by a story found in the book of Matthew:
“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.” - Matthew 13:44
I’m not comparing my time in DTS to the kingdom of heaven - heaven is far greater. But I am struck by the extravagant lengths some people will go to in order to pursue the things they value. In my lifetime I’ve sacrificed many things to obtain something else. I have given up leisure time to study and obtain good grades, I’ve given up time with others to spend time with my husband and strengthen our relationship, I’ve given up time with my family to work in a job to make an income and provide, and I’ve given up my personal time in order help others.
This is the story for everyone. In order to pursue one thing, you often sacrifice another. Gaining the new promotion might cost you evenings with your wife. Buying a bigger house might mean you spend less on other things.
You see, everything has a cost. Good or bad, big or small. In order to get one thing, we must give up something else. When I “gave up” all those things 6 months ago, was it worth it? It depends on how you determine value. If the goal of life is “He who dies with the most toys wins” then no, it wasn’t worth it. But to me, the love of the Father is the most valuable thing. Here is a fraction of meaningful tokens of our time away:
- The adoption of my son (we are finally all Sheplers)
- Radical family changes (in positivity and closeness)
- A strengthened marriage forged in the fires of outreach.
- More friends for my son (not just the next neighbor, but friends from all across the globe)
- A stronger personal commitment to follow Jesus no matter the cost.
- Consistent internal peace
- Travel and adventure
- Financial blessings
- Unexpected new friendships
- Multiplication of holiday celebrations (3 thanksgivings, a special Christmas in Uganda)
- Increased confidence in the Lord, in my husband and myself
- 1000+ salvations
- Numerous physical healings
- Church leaders learning how to study the Bible for the first time
- Teaching sustainable farming techniques that offered life-enriching results in health and increased standards of living.
- Encouragement
- Now having friends from all over the planet
- A support network that is bigger and stronger after just 6 months than I ever had in 6+ years in Ohio
- Joy. And I mean internal, everlasting, doesn’t-matter-the-circumstance kind of Joy.
How can one actually quantify the value of these things? What are they worth?
To me the items listed above are invaluable.
I left everything to follow Jesus.
My return on investment?
An abundant life. A life with a light yoke. A life filled with incalculable treasures. A life filled with deep and profound meaning. A life truly ruined for the ordinary. A life that is forever marked by the one who has made Me.
Depending on your worldview and personal priorities it can be easy to think I have wasted my life by leaving everything behind. But if you knew, and I mean truly knew who it is that I am following and how much He is worth, you’d give up everything too run Him wholeheartedly after Him.
Jesus didn't mince His words. He wants all of you - both now and for eternity. My prayer for you is out of Ephesians 1:17-18. I pray that the Lord would give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may know Him better and that the eyes of your heart would be enlightened that you may know the hope to which He has called you and the glorious riches of His inheritance in His holy people.
