Power of His Name

This morning in church we sang the song, “That’s the Power” and I was in tears at the following part:

'Cause that's the power of Your name

And just a mention makes a way

Giants fall and strongholds break

And there is healing

And that's the power that I claim

It's the same that rolled the grave

And there's no power like the

Mighty name of Jesus

Just this morning I’d experienced that same power - breaking strongholds, receiving healing, and protection from darkness with a single mention of His name. It started with a bad dream, where I was stuck in a small, dark space with walls closing in and an ominous pair of shoes lay beside me on the floor. I was scared and disoriented at first, but then I remembered my Savior, and managed to say, “Jesus.” At that moment I woke up. Not long after, I got out of bed and retreated some quiet time where I could be alone.. As I went through my devotional, I came back to a part I had been stuck on a day or two before dealing with rejection. Truthfully, I’d been afraid to confront the questions the devotional was prompting me with, because I was afraid of how much it might hurt. I know that I’ve carried around a stronghold of rejection, on in which I have battled for years. However, on this particular morning I was filled with the confidence of God’s deliverance from my bad dream that I knew He would walk me through however difficult the questions may be.

Here was the first question:

“Can you remember how you felt during a time of rejection or heartbreak? How have those memories affected you?”

Yikes. What came to my mind was my first real relationship break up. I was a senior in high school, it was almost my birthday, and I was devastated. I couldn’t eat or sleep, didn’t know how to function, was incredibly sad, couldn’t be alone, and honestly wasn’t sure how to go on. 

How has all that affected me? For starters I was incredibly cautious in my next relationship. In fact, in every subsequent relationship I put up walls. I can consciously remember saying that I never wanted to feel that way ever again and promising myself that I wouldn’t. It began innocently enough (or so I thought) until that next relationship ended. And then the next one. And the next one…

The void grew bigger but I thought I could control it.

After a while, I lost the desire, dare I say, the ability, to invest emotionally into relationships and began focusing on the physical aspects instead.. After all, emotionless sex doesn’t lead to a broken heart… right? And sex is enough to be fulfilled, isn’t it?

The answer is a resounding “no” to both of those questions.

Inevitably each person was with was never enough and I would quickly move onto someone else. Over time, I didn’t really want the person, I just wanted their body and their affirmation. I avoided choosing mates that were likely to try to nurture a healthy relationship and dove straight toward ones that were impossible, at times abusive, and questionable at best. 

The devotionals simple question prompted a trip down memory lane that was a doozy. I needed the journey though, as It answered part of the next question as well:

“How has the fear of rejection affected your relationships - with other people and with God?”

Other people? This I’ve clearly detailed above in regard to romantic situations. As for friendships: it has made me cautious and slow to form deep bonds or truly let people get close to my heart.

As for my relationship with God? My fear of rejection drove me far away from Him for many years, and I would be lying if I said I’m not tempted to try to hide parts of my heart from God even today. Albeit, this is an ever decreasing scenario as I find healing in Him, but let’s be real… sometimes the heart is dark, and we’re afraid what it would be if it came into the light.

The next question from the deveotional:

“Are you secure in the fact that God will never reject you?”

Wow.

My prayer to that was this: “Lord, I want to be secure in the fact that You will never reject me.”

The final question from the devotional:

“Do you, because of God’s love, see yourself as acceptable? Why or why not?”

Ouch.

No. I haven’t seen myself as acceptable. Many times on a daily basis, over many years. I struggle with it and have for almost as long as I can remember. But the key words, “because of God’s love” made me ponder a bit longer. In light of God’s love, in knowing His love, can I see myself as acceptable? 

I paused for a moment to reference the bad memories of rejection and bad choices and I took time to repent. I turned away from the rejection and asked the Lord to break the stronghold of rejection on my life. When I came back to the last question, I could finally answer it.

I am acceptable.

I see myself as acceptable because of God’s love. I couldn’t before, but I experienced His healing on a deeper level this morning, and something has changed.

It brought a smile to my face and put a spring in my step! I couldn’t hold it in because I want to share this freedom and joy with others. That is the power of Jesus in my life and I am so thankful for it and for the privilege of knowing Him. This is one of the many ways I’ve seen Him work.

Do you know the power of Jesus? And if not, please give it some thought. Pause and consider the freedom His love offers when we bring our darkness into light. It’s worth it.

*The questions quoted in this post are from page 43 of I Am: The Unveiling of God by Steve Fry.